Gender and Sexuality

I really enjoyed the presentation on different versions of gender today. Although we had been talking about the differences between sexuality and gender i liked how the presentation focused on the ambiguities that we had not touched upon in our previous discussion. Having gay parents makes sexuality an open topic in my family. When my mom first told me she was gay it was literally mind blowing for a kid of nine. But after living with the reality of having a gay parent it really helped me understand and learn to embrace differences of people around the world. Even with my experience with people of different sexual orientation I did not know that much about transgendered people. I was very interested to hear from both Toria and Andi about what it is like living with and as a transgendered person.

Oppression in Culture

In class on tuesday we talked about oppression and how to define it in our society today. One of the particularly interesting things we talked about was how privilege was connected to oppression. Often we do not acknowledge our own privileges and so oppression of those around us can be hard to recognize. This can make the oppressed feel even more so and the privileged can participate in oppression without even realize it. This makes you think, by not acknowledging our privileges we can actually be contributing to the oppression of those around us. In order to break this cycle of oppression we must acknowledge what separates the privileged from the oppressed. Once the oppression is acknowledged then we can move to trying to end it.

Gender and Culture in the Media

This presentation on gender and culture really made me think. The group pointed out that even in a society where minorities are just as prevalent as the "normal" white people, the most influential type of media, television, has yet to acknowledge it. With the ending of "Ugly Betty" (a show I love love love!) there is no other show on TV where the main character is Latina. Yes they may play a supporting role but really what other show is there where the the Latin culture is celebrated. Take a minute and think, its really hard to think of one. And why is that? It is even more distressing if you add the gender issue. Latina, African American and even Canadian women rarely make an appearance on our American TV shows and when they do its only in supporting roles as the best friend. If I were an outsider watching American TV I would think that everyone in America was white and rich (as we are most often thought of in other countries). I would never believe that there is any diversity in a country that we as Americans see as the most diverse. So TV can you please add some color to this line up?

Traditional Gender Roles

I found the presentation in class on traditional and changing gender roles very interesting. They made a survey about what students our age thought were traditionally male and female roles in the relationship and what they want them to be in their relationships. Before I took the survey I liked to tell myself that I was not the type of person who wanted a relationship with strict traditional roles. However, after taking the survey I realized that I favored a much more mixed roles type relationship. Yes I wanted there to be equality in the household but I still had the notion that some of the jobs were man work and some were woman work. I think this is the dichotomy that many people are dealing with in our society. While many couples agree that the work should be shared, society still tells us that traditionally certain jobs are assigned to a specific gender.

Sex Ed

In today's presentation we focused on sex education and programs that are implemented throughout the country that deal with sex ed in schools. For me it was interesting to hear about the sex ed or lack there of that some of my classmates received in comparison with my own. For me we received most of sex education in high school and then we did not really focus on abstinence. It was mentioned that abstinence was the best way to prevent pregnancy but we focused more on the over all health surround sex and our bodies in general. It was kind of unspoken that most people would not remain abstinent until marriage and that general education about our bodies and how they go together was best. I thought it was interesting to hear about some different atmospheres where abstinence was seen as the only option and sex was out of the question.
Another aspect we talked about was even knowing that when we are going to have sex we need to use protection how do you ask your partner about using a condom or the pill. In the throes of passion how does a girl stop and ask the guy if he has a condom or how does the guy ask the girl if she is on the pill. And is it okay for girls to have condoms as well or should it be the guys responsibility. This made me think while the sex ed I received seemed very comprehensive, how do you broach this subject? I believe in order to truly get teenagers to use protection the aspect of asking about it needs to be shown in the education videos they show us. After all what guy walks around all day with a condom on so they are ready to go at anytime?

Rape as a Tool of War

In our presentation on Thursday, much of our conversation turned to the topic of the use of systematic rape as a tool of war. This was a topic that my small group had been focussing on in our previous discussion and I believe it is one that must be talked about. In conflicts where ethnicity is involved, rape is used as a way to destroy what makes a community a certain ethnicity. In the Balkans, Serbs raped Bosnians to cleanse the land of Bosnians and make sure that their Serbian blood line permeated the region to assert their superiority. But what happens after the Serbians leave. Many women are left with children they would rather forget about than raise and others with husbands who would disown them if they even mentioned being raped. And worse in a society as patriarchal as that of the Balkans, the women have absolutely no one to talk to. Despite the fact that many of the women in their community might have been raped as well, they cannot find comfort in each other for fear of what would happen to them if they found out. One woman went so far as to say that all of her daughters were good girls and only served the soldiers tea, there was no way that her daughters would have been so bad to have been raped by the soldiers. She acts as if they ever had a choice, which goes against the whole definition of being raped. In a society such as this how do people even begin to heal and others even begin to help. For many of this women it will be a torment that they will harbor their whole lives with the feeling of blame for allowing this to happen. For many women it would be better to committ suicide than be raped. This makes you question what kind of world do we live in that a women would choose death over the possibility of life and what kind of societies allow women to believe that their rape is in any way their fault?

Human Trafficking

In class on Tuesday we had a presentation on human trafficking around the world. This got me thinking that human trafficking is an unspoken problem around the world including in the United States. It is a huge problem that everyone knows exists but very few people do anything to combat it. Much of the conversation we had in class was focused on solutions to help prevent human trafficking. While many of the solutions for awareness of the situation were excellent points, I believe that in order to combat human trafficking we must combat many of the reasons why humans are trafficked. Although some people in the human trafficking industry are kidnapped and essentially forced into sexual slavery, the majority of people in the industry are sold by family members, sell themselves or are tricked into a kind of indentured servitude. In many underdeveloped countries children are seen as commodities. When a family needs money, they are then sold and often times become part of the trafficking industry. Therefore the best way to combat the industry is to deprive it of its commodities. The best way to do this is to promote financial security in the underdeveloped countries so selling children is no longer the only option. Until we can do this the ideas to promote awareness will do little to end the trafficking of humans.

Gender in War

While doing research for my group project in this class, I came across an article about female suicide bombers. I was immediately intrigued because of the discussions we have been having about females as violent. This text, by Nino Kemoklidze, centers on the stereotype of women as victims and how that is applied to female suicide bombers. The author uses the so-called Black Widows of Chechnya as her example of a group of female suicide bombers. Kemoklidze sets the stage by talking about the patriarchal background of the Chechens to better explain the role the women play in this type of society. She then goes on to explain that even as these women were taking the lives of so many, the media still portrayed them as victims. Society could not understand why a self-sacrificing woman would take her life and others unless she was forced into it. Where as a male suicide bomber would be portrayed as evil the woman can only be portrayed as weak and vulnerable. Kemoklidze challenges the reader to realize that a woman can be political and trying to fight for the independence of her country without being forced by men. A woman can be dangerous and violent.

            This article was very interesting to read because Kemoklidze forces the reader to question the stereotypes they have of women and their ability to inflict harm. She argues that especially in a society as patriarchal as the Chechen society that the idea of a woman as harmless and vulnerable is just that, an idea. She argues that it is demonstrated especially by the Black Widows because they blow the stereotype completely out of the water. Here are women intentionally harming those around them as part of a political movement. This is a very good argument for the idea that gender in war is socially constructed by the media surrounding the conflict.

Princess Boy

Princess Boy Video
This is a video I saw on facebook that someone had posted about a young boy who prefers to dress up in girls clothing. What I love about the video is the support system he has from his whole family and his teachers at school. I love the fact that in order to make him feel more comfortable on halloween, three men from his school put on a ballet performance for his whole school to teach other children that  it was okay. The tolerance that they are teaching I think is something that needs to be taught in every school. These days children are so mean. I think all parents should take a cue from the older brother of this little boy and just be proud of their kids no matter what they like to do and teach them about acceptance of everyone.

Election Mudslinging

For the upcoming elections there have been many mudslinging campaigns on TV. This he said, she said and other childish sayings have unfortunately carried over into the debate forum in the form of sexist sayings. Now we often her sayings such as "be a man", "rub some dirt in it" or "man up" between friends in a joking forum. Lately, however, this language has apparently carried over to politics. Ruth Marcus talks about this in her article entitled "Manning Up". She addresses the fact that in our society having "cajones" is tough and not having them is wimpy and the fact that ideology like this leaves little room for women to work with when we automatically don't have them. What I found most interesting however was the fact that the people who were saying things like "man up" and "grow a pair" were women on the campaign trail. The fact that it was women promoting this type of mudslinging was weird to me, especially because biologically women cannot "man up" or "grow a pair" themselves. In an age where women are constantly fighting for equal rights why would they promote the other side of the spectrum, male stereotypes, when it inversely affects their cause as well. In light of all the bad talking I whole heartedly agree with Marcus, people, especially politicians, don't need to man up they need to grow up.

Redefining Masculinity

In the Newsweek article "Men's Lib", Tony Dokoupil talks about the need to redefine masculinity instead of resigning ourselves to the fact that our traditional view of the man is dying out. Dokoupil says that as a society we need to move past our notions of male and female jobs because there will soon be more "female" jobs available than "male" ones. If we don't get over our stereotypes we will be left with so many unemployed men that the stereotypes could change for the worse instead of the better. Dokoupil also stresses that we need to embrace the notion of men as equal parents and do more to make men comfortable with being a stay at home dad perhaps. As women enter more and more into the traditional male workforce, men have to make adjustments as well. Whether that is taking a less "manly" job or spending more time with the kids, an adjustment needs to be made for the good of our society.

Tough Guise

Last class we watched a movie called "Tough Guise". This movie attempted to look at pop culture and identify many of the reasons why "boys don't cry". In writing Valenti does just the same in her chapter called instead "Boys Do Cry". In one part of this chapter called Men Should Act Like Men, she references an add for the beer brand Milwaukee's Best. In this add when a man tries to soak up grease on his pizza with a napkin he is crushed by a giant beer can. Valenti then questions the moral of this story: "Act like 'a girl' and be killed by giant beer cans." Although the likelihood of a giant beer can dropping out of the sky to crush everyman who acts like "a girl" is highly unlikely, it does enforce a certain stereotype of men. Men must be tough all the time. But is it really unmanly of a man to wipe off his pizza because he is concerned for the effects it has on his health. I don't think so. This made me question, who actually does? Who is actually so concerned with criticizing another person's eating habits that they will condemn someone for trying to look out for their health by calling them a girl? Well I have concluded that the media is. Why is this, you ask? Because it is profitable. Although this ad is highly unrealistic and based on complete fallacy, I am sure that the beer company made a few dollars off of this one because no one wants to be unmanly. So my moral of the story: stop listening to what our society is trying to make you do and wipe some grease off of the pizza, its gross! After all, when was the last time someone you know got crushed by a giant beer can?

Marx and Feminism

One of the other feminist theories Tong addresses is Marxist feminism. This branch of feminism focuses on Marx's ideas surrounding class struggles. For this theory gender conflicts are based in these class struggles and the only way to end gender conflicts is to embrace Marxism and create a state free of a class system. In the work force the division of labor also keeps men and women separate because the division keeps women in the domestic sphere. Marxist feminists want to make domestic labor public so that a revolution will take place and make men and women more equal.
While there is validity in the want to abolish classes so that the genders are equal, there are many critiques of this as well. One is that revolution would not really make men and women equal. According to Tong, Mao Zedong was even quoted in saying that even in a completely equal communist society men and women would not be equal because the idea of women as inferior is too widely accepted. Even if a Marxist revolution were to occur there would still be two class men and women. Another critique is that this Marxist system of equality would undervalue the family. In a capitalist society the money and care from the parents go directly to their children, where as in a Marxist society the focus is taken off of the individual family and directed toward the community. What I found interesting about this critique was that according to Marx a communist society would do the exact opposite. For Marx in a capitalist society children are only seen as investments to gain the parents more money, where as in a Marxist society children are seen as parts of the family. It would be interesting to see what would actually happen to the family dynamic in a truly communist society.

Gender Psychology

In chapter 4 of "Feminist Thought," Tong lays out different psychological theories behind the development of male and female mentality. The first part of this chapter that I found interesting was her statement that psychoanalytic feminists hypothesize that "in a non patriarchal society, masculinity and femininity would be both differently constructed and valued." I thought this was quite an interesting idea to consider. How would our class be altered if we lived in a world dominated by the matriarch instead?
While I was thinking about this idea I was also trying to wrap my head around the Freudian ideas about sexuality. Seeing as I have never taken a psychology class in my life it was interesting to see how Freud applied the story of Oedipus, a story I am very familiar with, to men and women's sexuality. According to Freud, boys and girls both develop a hatred toward the mother either from their inability to have them (in the sexual way) or from competition for affection from the father, respectively. This was a very thought provoking application of the story and although I do not necessarily agree with it I think it is a valid argument to consider when analyzing man and female sexual development.

Theories on Gender

In class on Thursday we were talking about different theories on how men and women are socialized and affected by this socialization. One of the theories we were talking about was the biological theory that Dr. Widmann had come to our class and talked about previously. While discussing the biological argument vs. the cultural arguments Celia brought up a good point. She said feminism is seen as man bashing but in reality it is really the biology argument that beats up on men. The biology argument pretty much says that men are at a woman's disposal in picking which partner she wants to procreate with. While women get to choose who they mate with, men just have to take what they can get. Now the scientist who study this say it in much different terms, it boils down to the fact that women get to be picky and men just have to take it.

Development of Feminism

Rosemarie Tong does an excellent job of laying out the progress of feminism and how it has changed through the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries. In the 18th century middle class ladies were perfect women. They sacrificed everything for their husbands and were not permitted to make their own decisions. What I was surprised to learn about was that there was a well known woman author speaking out for women at this time. Mary Wollstonecraft urged women to become autonomous decision makers. For her the ideal woman was less interested in fulfilling her duty that in self control and was a rational agent whose dignity consisted of self determination. Then as the 19th century came around people began to build on the idea of women's rights with the beginning of the suffragist movement. Men began to get involved in the movement following Wollstonecraft's idea that women need to be able to think rationally. I was very interested when Tong began to talk about John Mill a man supporting women. I really enjoyed Mill's saying that "even if all women are worse than all men at something, this does not justify forbidding women from trying to do it." This is a very important step for the women's movement because this is a man saying it is okay for women to try and to be able to  do the same things men do. By the time the 20th century came around women gained the right to vote and the focus moved more towards equal rights. What I found interesting is that the equal rights they were fight for then are still being sought after today. We are waiting for the day when all human beings are able and willing to manifest both traditionally male and traditionally female traits.

Feminism in Pop Culture

Valenti does it again in the chapter on pop culture from her book Full Frontal Feminism. She manages to make feminism and its ideal easy to understand and interesting for her readers. In this section specifically she talks about the view of sex in pop culture. One thing she talks about that I think is very interesting is ideal of a "sexy virgin". This is essentially an oxymoron that our culture today has come to see as the norm for girls these days. It is a fine line that all girls are working around. Trying to be as sexy as possible and enticing the approval of men, while at the same time virginal and uncorrupted. This image was extremely popular when I was younger with celebrities like Britney Spears. She went from an innocent girl to a sex symbol in a matter of a few years from "Baby One More Time" to "I'm A Slave 4 You". Suddenly this person that young girls looked up to was all about "I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it, I cannot control it". Everything was about being the perfect girl to get the guys. Valenti's book addresses this fact and tells girls and women alike to remember their purpose is not for man's enjoyment but to be a person too.

Biology of the Sexes

I highly enjoyed today's class and our discussion of the more biological side of what makes males male and females female. I thought is was quite interesting the amount of research that has been done on the subject. I found it interesting that many of the stereotypes we know about men and women are actually supported by biology. Like the stereotype that men don't listen is supported by the fact that women tend to use both sides of their brains while men exclusively use only the left side of their brains. Also the stereotype that women are picky is based on the way that woman choose a mate to reproduce with. Women have to be more selective when choosing a mate because they need to make sure the male can take care of them and their offspring. I also found it interesting that the professor argued that homosexuality isn't a choice due to biological studies done of the nuclei behind the first few layers of the eye. Another interesting fact that we learned is that men tend to choose a more normal sized life long partner over the super skinny woman that society has led us to believe is the most attractive. I found this bit of information to be very comforting as a woman who has grown up in the shadow of this stereotype. While I do not believe I am fat, every girl at some point has had that feeling that they are not beautiful and not attractive to guys and will never get a boyfriend. At those points this bit of science is very comforting for any girl who has ever felt that way.

Male Feminism

In "Feminism is for EVERYBODY" by Bell Hooks I loved the chapter on Feminist Masculinity. It went right along with the questions I posed in one of my other posts, why isn't there a maleist group? Well it turns out there is, it's just not really publicized. While Hooks' stance on maleism is a bit different than what I originally outlined, I really like what she says. Hooks says, "What is needed is a vision of masculinity where self-esteem and self-love of one's unique being forms the basis of identity." Men need to move away from the patriarchal masculinity that says they get their identity from dominating others. In other words men need to become less macho in order for women and men to be equal and for feminism to be seen as okay. I agree with Hooks in that melding of the sexes instead of stark division is what is needed. There needs to be more literature stressing the development of an identity based less in sexism and more in other aspects.
At the Beyond Tolerance lecture on Thursday, Mark Rhodes made us examine the emphasis we ourselves and society place on different aspects of our identity. One category was our sex. Most people I talked to put down that your sex played a big part in the identity we and society creates for us. Two of the columns on the works sheet were list the ways in which this identity is positively viewed by society and list the ways in which this identity is negatively viewed by society. A friend of mine put that being a female is society means being beautiful (positive) and weak (negative). And I had to agree. Society has made the female seem only for show in its beauty and worthless in its weakness. But I know many beautiful, strong women, beautifully powerful women, and utterly amazing women. Still society sees these women as weak of body and mind, only around to please men. Society needs to start embracing the idea that a woman can be strong and that a man can be weak. In class we pondered whether one sex, being defined in relation to what it has and the other doesn't, could change without the other one changing. I have decided that no it cannot. Until the definition of a woman can stand alone from the definition of a man, one cannot change without the other changing as well. Until a man can be accepted as sensitive and "womanly", a woman cannot fully be accepted as strong and "manly".

Exploring Roles in Gender

When people were first asked to volunteer in class yesterday, I was a bit wary of what was to come next. But what followed was great. I loved watching how women and men viewed the opposite sex and their interactions. The great part about it was that although the actors played to many of the gendered stereotypes, not all of the acting was incorrect. The two girls playing guys were more aggressive and competitive while watching the "football game." And the interesting thing was that when we were given a chance to say what was wrong with the interaction, many of the guys said they were not aggressive enough instead of too much. Then the two guys pretending to be girls going shopping played directly into the stereotype of women. Although there was more criticism of them than the male scenario, much of what they did was accurate. Through this class I found that not all stereotypes are complete fallacies and that most of them actually have some ground in truth.

Hardcore Feminism

Valenti's criticism of the stereotypes of feminisms was absolutely great. She managed to talk about feminism without it being the elephant in the room. She didn't tiptoe around the point. She confronted the issue from the very beginning with her question "What's the worst thing you can call a woman?" Then responded with some words most of us would never dare say in front of our parents, let alone our friends. This approach continues through out the entire chapter, bold and in your face language. But at the same time she confronts the issues surrounding feminism while also clearing up what feminism actually means. I found it interesting that the definition she gives for feminism (from the dictionary) is: belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. This got me thinking, why is it called feminism? and why is it unacceptable for a guy to be one? Now I know that the term came about with the beginning of the women's rights movement and that essentially a feminism goes against male superiority, but nowadays why can't a man be a feminist, or better yet a maleist? The term feminism does not specify male or female in the definition. So why isn't there a male equivalent? Why aren't there any maleist's out there fighting for men to be seen as something more than just dumb jocks who think with their libido or geeky nerds who only play with computers?

I also found that this article went well with our discussion in class on Thursday. We asked why are girls seen as perfect and beautiful in the media and why anyone who doesn't fit that bill is seen as ugly or a dyke. Valenti addresses this issue as well, in wondering why do we have these stereotypes and why women have to fit into one category or the other. She says all women should think of themselves as beautiful and not ascribe to the categories of fat, ugly or beautiful. A woman should not accept one of these levels in life just because that is what society has ascribed for you. She emphasizes the fact that no woman should be threatened by the "ugly stick". Just because someone says your ugly doesn't make it so.